Intermission Series
by akerri.dogi
Summary: One-shots which take place in the Abluvion Universe where Harry Potter is Blaine Anderson.
1. Harry Potter vs Draco Malfoy

A/N: This one-shot has been moved from Abluvion into the Intermission Series.

This one-shot is dedicated to **Mordanyes**, the winner of the Bonus Question in Chapter 2 of Abluvion! The request was Klaine obsessing over Harry Potter, and I twisted it around a little bit.

This takes place in an AU of my Abluvion!Universe, where Hermione is publishing the Harry Potter series while Blaine is in McKinley High. He's already transferred from the Warblers to the New Directions, but Klaine hasn't gotten together yet.

Just in case you didn't catch it before, **this is** **not part of the Abluvion!Universe**! It was just a fun little one-shot intermission chapter that kind of fit in with the basic plot of Harry-turned-Blaine.

XXX

**Harry Potter versus Draco Malfoy**

XXX

"Blaine, check this out! It's the newest book by Hermione Granger, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!_ " Kurt said, shoving the book giddily into Blaine's face.

"Harry Potter and the what?" Blaine asked incredulously, grabbing the book. Merlin's balls, he had totally forgotten. Before he had left Hogwarts, Hermione had asked for permission to write a series of books about their adventures at Hogwarts. He thought she meant to write them after the war, but apparently Hermione had a lot of free time on her hands…

Kurt snatched back the book when Blaine wasn't paying attention. Kurt looked at him suspiciously. "You've heard of Harry Potter before, right?"

Blaine waved his hand, "Yeah, Boy-Who-Lived, blah blah blah…"

Kurt looked relieved. "Good, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't even heard of him. My dad, for example, can't understand the greatness that is Harry Potter. When I dressed up for the _Prisoner of Azkaban_ premiere, he thought I was crazy and almost forbid me from going." Kurt propped himself up with a pillow on Blaine's bed.

"Wait, there's movies too?" Blaine asked weakly.

"Of course there are movies, where have you been?" Kurt asked, his eyebrow raised. "They're only _international sensations!_ I swear, Harry Potter has become the symbol for all that is awesome; it's just that good."

Blaine stifled a laugh. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, _really_." Kurt responded, opening the book. "Now shush, I'm reading."

Blaine shook his head in disbelief. "I have to go do something…" He muttered to Kurt, who didn't seem to hear him. Blaine shrugged to himself and crawled over Kurt, off his bed.

He shut the door to his room gently behind him, and then sprinted down the stairs.

"Dad, Mom, did you know there was a book about me? And movies?" He hissed when he got to the kitchen. His parents looked up from their respective newspapers.

"Of course, sweetie," Cristina said, "They're all over the news." Then she looked concerned, "Why, you didn't give consent to have these published? I could understand why not, consider it's your life and everything…"

"You should be proud!" Everett added, "Did you see last Halloween? There were so many kids dressed up like Harry Potter, it was unbelievable!"

"I was in my room all of last Halloween." Blaine said slowly, "You know, death of my birth parents and everything?"

"Oh honey, I'm sorry!" Cristina said, jumping up to give him a hug. "We didn't mean to bring that up."

"It's okay," Blaine said absently, spotting the front cover of the newspaper that she was reading. _The Phenomenon of Harry Potter Explained, _the newspaper stated boldly. "Could I see that?"

"Sure, I'll start making lunch. Does Kurt want anything in particular?" Cristina asked, taking her apron off the hook on the wall.

"He might not even be down to eat. He's reading the new _Harry Potter_ book." Blaine said, scanning through the newspaper. After he had finished reading the article, he thumped his head on the table. "Eff my life."

"What's wrong?" Everett asked, not looking up from the sports section of the newspaper.

"Nothing, nothing…" Blaine muttered. He sighed, standing up from the table. "I'm going to see if Kurt has the first _Harry Potter_ book. …God, it feels so weird saying my own name like that."

"Okay, but lunch is ready in half an hour. Tell Kurt that too! The boy's skinny enough without skipping meals."

"Got it Mom," Blaine called from the staircase. He knocked on his bedroom door to warn Kurt of his presence, and then entered. "Hey, Kurt, did you happen to bring the first Harry Potter book with you? I want to reread it before starting the fourth."

"Yeah, it's right here." Kurt mumbled, still focused on the book. One of his hands reached down to his bag and fumbled with the clasp.

"Here, I'll get it." Blaine said, slapping his hand aside. He opened Kurt's bag to find not one, but _three_ books inside of it—Kurt had brought all of the books in the series with him.

Blaine stared dubiously at the cover of the books. He didn't look like that! "Ah well, at least I'm not hideous…" He mumbled.

"Hm? What?" Kurt asked absentmindedly.

"Nothing, keep on reading. Oh, and lunch is in half an hour, no excuses." Blaine informed him. Kurt nodded, but Blaine doubted he had heard him. Blaine shrugged, and then opened up _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_. He briefly wondered why the stone's name had changed, but brushed it off as some "artistic liberty" Hermione must have taken.

Blaine began reading the book, and he was immediately surprised on how accurately Hermione had portrayed his story. Wow, did she really know that much about him? He was slightly uncomfortable about how she had boldly displayed his life at the Dursley's. However, he figured it wasn't uncommon knowledge anyways, so it wasn't like she was revealing a big secret of his.

The two were interrupted a while later by Cristina knocking on the door. "Blaine, Kurt, lunch!"

"We're coming!" Blaine called back through the door. He snapped the book shut, but not before memorizing what page he was on. "Kurt, you ready?"

Kurt didn't respond, too caught up in the book. Blaine tapped him on the shoulder, but Kurt just shrugged him off. Blaine sighed, smiling exasperatedly at his friend. He leaned in close to Kurt's head and then blew a puff of air into his ear.

"Ahh, Blaine, what was that?" Kurt asked, lurching away from him and grabbing his ear. "You know I hate it when you do that!"

"I know, I know." Blaine said, laughing. "Come on, lunch is ready."

"Now I lost my place in the book…" Kurt grumbled, spotting the _Goblet of Fire_ splayed out messily on Blaine's bed.

"You'll survive. You won't, however, survive it if my mom needs to come back up here because we're not down at lunch. Come on, up." Blaine wheedled, pulling Kurt up by his arm.

"But I was just at the good part." Kurt whined. When Blaine laughed at him, Kurt harrumphed, and stomped down the stairs.

"Kurt, I know Harry Potter is awesome," Here, he smirked at himself, "but you have to save time for eating and sleeping too. You wouldn't want to die before the seventh book came out, would you?"

"Oh gods no," Kurt said, his eyes widening. "Then I wouldn't be able to see how Draco Malfoy grows up!"

Blaine choked on his soup. "Wait, who?"

"Draco Malfoy," Kurt responded, thanking Cristina politely when she handed him a fork. "He's my favorite character—and what's not to like? He's well dressed, he's well groomed, and he's got that bad boy charm going for him."

"Malfoy doesn't have a 'bad boy charm'!" Blaine protested. He saw his parents laughing at him across the table. "He doesn't!"

"Of course he does," Kurt scoffed. "Ask anyone on the streets."

"What?" Blaine sputtered, "Well, Harry Potter is better than Draco Malfoy!" He said childishly.

"Sorry, but I have to disagree." Kurt said calmly, taking a bite of his food. "While Harry Potter is very brave and heroic, and generally amazing all around, Draco Malfoy has more depth."

"More _depth_?" Blaine repeated disbelievingly. "He's a Death Eater's son! What _depth_ could he possibly had?"

"It's precisely because he was born into such a hopeless situation that makes him so popular." Kurt said patiently, smiling indulgently at Blaine. "And this salad is to die for, Cristina. Could I get your recipe later?"

Cristina nodded, though she was too caught up in laughter to reply. Blaine glared at his parents—traitors. They already knew all about his school years in Hogwarts, including about his rivalry with Malfoy. They probably had already heard about the Harry Potter series too and didn't tell him.

Blaine fumed into his food. There was no way he was hearing this. Kurt, his _best friend_, was claiming that he preferred Draco Malfoy over him! Alright, so Kurt didn't exactly _know_ that he was Harry Potter, but the sentiment was the same!

"Blaine, are you alright?" Kurt asked when Blaine didn't say anything for a few minutes. "It's just a book, you don't have to get so upset over it."

Blaine opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Draco Malfoy?" He asked again, still not able to get over that fact.

Kurt sighed. He reached over the table to grasp Blaine's hand. "Blaine," He said seriously, catching Blaine's eyes with his own. "Draco Malfoy is hot. I'm sorry, but I can't help who I have a crush on."

No way. No way, no way, no way.

"How about we leave you two boys alone?" Cristina asked, her eyes twinkling merrily. Blaine didn't doubt for one moment that she was going to spy on them from behind the door.

When they were gone, Blaine informed Kurt yet again, "You can't have a crush on Draco Malfoy."

"And why not?" Kurt asked, examining his cuticles. "Really, Blaine, you're acting like you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" Blaine denied loudly. "I just… don't like Malfoy."

"Blaine, he's fictional." Kurt said with a laugh. "You're taking this way too seriously."

"I am not!" Blaine shouted. He blushed and coughed. "I mean…"

"Blaine, if it makes you feel better, I like _you_ more than I like Draco Malfoy." Kurt said, smiling indulgently.

"Really?" Blaine asked quietly.

"Yes, really. Now let's go up to your room before I start waxing poetry over Malfoy's lips."

"You've fantasized about kissing Malfoy? Wait, Kurt, seriously?"

XXX

"Blaine, what's wrong?" Brittany asked the next day before Glee practice. Blaine was staring petulantly at Kurt and Mercedes. The two had been _squealing_ over Malfoy, pretty loudly too, for what seemed like hours.

"It's nothing, Britt." Blaine said with a sigh.

"Not a fan of Malfoy, I see." Sam jumped in to the conversation. He eyed Kurt and Mercedes. "I myself don't see the attraction. I think Victor Krum is a lot cooler. He has this awesome accent, he's a really good Quidditch player, _and_ he ends up with the girl."

"Krum is okay…" Tina chimed in, turning her chair to face them. "But don't you think the Weasley twins are so much hotter? Think of it, two redheads for the price of one. It's a win-win deal!"

"Is that a hint that you want a threesome?" Mike Chang asked dubiously from next to her.

"No, of course not." She hastily corrected. Then she paused, "Well, maybe…"

Blaine burrowed his head into his hands. "Why doesn't anyone like Harry Potter these days?"

"Well, he's kind of the main character," Sam said slowly, "and it's kind of against the rules to have the main character as your favorite. Like, everyone's a fan of Harry Potter, so it just seems fairer to like a different character more. See what I mean? The dude already has the entire _series_ dedicated to him, so it would be unfair that his fan base would be the largest as well."

"That makes no sense!" Blaine exclaimed, "If he's the main character, shouldn't his fan base be the largest?"

Kurt and Mercedes moved over to join their little discussion. "Blaine's been upset over this for the entire weekend." He informed the other Glee members. "He doesn't like the fact that Draco Malfoy is just hotter than Harry Potter."

"You can't argue with that, Blaine." Tina told him, "It's basically a fact. Especially with Kurt—I don't think I've ever seen him this crazy about anyone before." Blaine's frown deepened as the conversation continued on.

"And blonds are generally more attractive than brunets." Mercedes added, heedless of Blaine's growing frustration. "Right, Kurt?"

Kurt nodded emphatically. "And what's more important, Malfoy reminds me of myself. And you always have to root for yourself in books."

"Though if you say that, Kurt," Tina said slowly, "then you wouldn't be able to date him in the case that you ever met."

"True," Kurt said, tapping his chin with a finger. "And I wouldn't want to miss out on that opportunity if it ever came."

"I think you two would look fabulous together," Mercedes said slyly. "Especially if you kiss. And I'm sure you will—you can't have a boyfriend that hot and not make out with him."

"So true," Kurt agreed. "Our make-out session would be so hot."

That was the last straw. Blaine growled lowly to himself, imagining Kurt and Malfoy kissing. What he did next he would later blame on that pit growing in his stomach as the image continued to taunt and tease him.

"Kurt?" Blaine called out, waiting until his friend was looking at him. Without a warning, Blaine stood up slightly in his chair and caught Kurt's lips with his own. Kurt gave a muffled squeak in surprise, seemingly at a loss of what to do as Blaine deepened the kiss. But surely enough Kurt's eyes shut closed as he began to press back. Blaine smirked into the kiss. Take that, Malfoy.

When they broke apart, Blaine finally noticed the cat calls and leers they had attracted from the rest of the New Directions. He blushed, embarrassed, as he took note of where they were.

"So does this mean we're dating?" Kurt whispered into his ear, ignoring the squeals of the girls surrounding them.

"If you want to," Blaine said nervously. It just hit him that he just kissed Kurt. Kissed him! Without asking for permission or giving any hint of his feelings or anything! However, if that kiss had done one thing, it had cleared up Blaine's feelings towards Kurt. Yep, this was definitely attraction of the romantic sort.

Blaine fidgeted anxiously in the moment of pause before Kurt spoke again. He didn't have any reason to worry, though, as Kurt grabbed his neck and pulled him into a chaste kiss.

"Of course I want to." Kurt said with a grin, slipping into the chair next to Blaine's. He threaded his fingers into Blaine's own and leaned towards him. Seeing that, the girls in the room all went "Awww…" in unison, causing Kurt's grin to widen even more.

"So… no more talk about Malfoy?" Blaine asked, well aware that he was already playing the role of the jealous boyfriend.

"No," Kurt responded. "Besides, I've always likened you to Harry Potter, and you know what they say about him and Malfoy."

"What?" Blaine asked, clueless.

Kurt kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "They belong together."

Blaine didn't even get the chance to be indignant as Kurt gently squeezed his hand. Blaine sighed softly, and squeezed back. Ah well, someday he would have to correct Kurt of that notion. It wasn't Harry and Draco who belonged together, it was Harry and Kurt.

XXX

A/N: Wow, that was so much fun to write! Though I really wish I would have edited more, but I don't have the time right now…

I repeat, **this is** **not part of the Abluvion!Universe**. While Blaine _is_ Harry Potter in this fic, and he _does_ go to McKinley, this isn't part of _Abluvion_.

I'm planning a continuation of this fic where Kurt finds out the truth. I don't know when it'll be posted, though. Maybe during Winter Break? Of course, if I say that I'm going to write everything during Winter Break, it's probably not going to happen... I'll try!


	2. Lucius Malfoy, Owner of GAP

A/N: Dedicated to **27quill**, who inspired me (unintentionally) through his/her review (from… a million years ago)!

This Intermission occurs where the Death Eaters now know that Harry Potter is hiding somewhere in the state of Ohio around the Lima-Westerville area. Blaine is still at Dalton, and Kurt still doesn't know about him being Harry Potter. This is a stand-alone one-shot in the Abluvion universe.

XXX

**Lucius Malfoy, Owner of GAP**

XXX

It was supposed to be an outing for the three gay guys of the Warblers. Just Jeff, Kurt, and Blaine hanging out in the mall. No drama, no hassle.

Everything would have been fine if Nick hadn't gotten a new girlfriend yesterday. Then Jeff wouldn't have been upset, and Kurt wouldn't have been trying to cheer him up, and Blaine wouldn't be at the mall. But since Jeff _was_ upset, and Kurt _was_ trying to cheer him up, Blaine was here. At the mall. Where, little did he know, trouble awaited.

"What about that guy over there?" Kurt asked, pointing at a guy working at the Burger King's food stand. "He's cute. Brunette too, which you like, right?"

"He's too tall." Jeff grumbled after giving the man a glance. "He would tower over me and it would make me feel like a girl."

"Okay then," Kurt said without breaking his stride, "what about that guy? He's a nice height, Asian, and he dresses well!"

"You can tell he smokes. He has a lighter hanging out his back pocket." Jeff said morosely.

Kurt's smile was slowly becoming more strained. "Well what about that guy? The one getting the tattoo!"

Jeff looked at Kurt incredulously. "That guy is getting a tattoo of Sue Sylvester. On his _butt_."

"He is?" Kurt asked curiously, leaning his head to look closer at the man. He pulled away quickly, his face turning pale. "Oh my Gaga, I think I'm going to be sick."

"How about we give this whole 'guy watching' thing a break, huh?" Blaine cut in smoothly. He pulled Kurt away from the tattoo parlor, avidly ignoring his urge to look inside the parlor as well.

"No, it's our duty to cheer Jeff up." Kurt said determinedly. "And if that means sometimes seeing something we really, _really_ would rather not have seen, then so be it."

"You're such a good friend." Jeff said with a sigh. "But I don't think any amount of guy watching is going to help me get over Nick."

"It will." Kurt said resolutely. "It just takes a bit of time. See how about that guy? The one folding shirts in the GAP?"

Jeff glanced up halfheartedly, and then froze. He coughed, trying to cover up his reaction. "He's… alright."

"Alright is good." Kurt said brightly. "Okay, to the GAP it is. Come on!" He grabbed Jeff and Blaine's wrists and dragged them into the store. There, they stood half hidden behind a rack of jackets, pretending to browse.

"Good bone structure," Kurt observed, flipping through the shirts next. He pulled one out, though his eye remained on the GAP employee. "Although that hair really has to be styled."

"It's not that bad," Jeff protested, shuffling through the merchandise as well. "I think it draws attention to his eyes."

"He does have nice eyes," Kurt agreed. He held out a shirt against Blaine's chest. "This would look good on you."

"We're not actually here to shop," Blaine reminded him.

"I know," Kurt said, taking another shirt off the rack, "but we have to _pretend_ like we're shopping otherwise he might get freaked out."

"Fine…" Blaine said with a sigh as he began to browse the pants section. He gradually wandered away from Kurt and Jeff, but he could still hear them whispering sometimes.

Briefly, he wondered if he should buy something for Everett, whose birthday was coming up. His train of thought was abruptly cut off when Kurt and Jeff burst into giggles. He wandered back to them, looking towards the cute GAP guy as they were. He froze. Wait, was that? Oh Merlin, that really was him! Lucius Malfoy was _right there_ talking to what seemed to be the manager of the store. And they were standing right next to the GAP guy that Kurt and Jeff were checking out!

"Guys, get down!" Blaine said, pulling Kurt and Jeff behind a rack of clothes. They shouted in protest as Blaine wrestled them down.

"Blaine, what's wrong?" Kurt asked quietly. Blaine shushed him, peeking out from behind the rack to observe the two men talking.

"We can't let him see us." Blaine whispered, pointing to the Malfoy.

"Why?" Jeff asked.

"He's…" Blaine hesitated, "He's just a bad man, alright? He has a personal vendetta against me and… Just trust me on this. We _cannot_ let him find us. It would be… bad news."

"Alright…" Kurt said slowly. "So what do you want us to do?"

"We need to find out why he's here…" Blaine said, biting his lip. "If one of us could just get close enough to hear what they're saying."

"I have an idea," Kurt said. "Do you think he would hurt random strangers in public?"

Blaine looked around at the moderately crowded store. "No, probably not. Why?"

"Because," Kurt said straightening up. "He won't recognize Jeff or me. As long as you stay hidden, everything should be fine, right?"

"I mean… _hypothetically_." Blaine conceded. "But I don't know… I don't want you guys getting close to him, just in case."

Kurt ignored him, whispering something into Jeff's ear. Jeff nodded, giving his consent to Kurt's plan. They both stood up, casually looking around the store.

"Blaine, trust us." Kurt said quietly. "I am a master at spying, and Jeff here has years of magazine tips for picking up guys."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Blaine hissed.

But the time for conversation was over, and with a meaningful glance, Jeff and Kurt casually strode over to where the Malfoy was standing. Kurt went to the rack almost directly next to where Malfoy was standing, while Jeff went over to the GAP guy.

Blaine could see Jeff slyly looking at the GAP guy, introducing himself. Kurt intently looked at the shirts on the rack, acting as if he was truly intending on buying it. Blaine laughed quietly to himself as Jeff trailed a finger up the GAP guy's chest. Malfoy looked at the two of them, disgusted, and quickly finished up his conversation with the manager.

Kurt looked up, meeting Blaine's eyes as Malfoy swept out of the store. Jeff, too, ended his conversation and casually strode back to where Blaine was hiding.

"I think he owns this store." Kurt told Blaine softly, his eyes fixated on the mannequin in front of him, as if he was checking out the clothes on display. "He was talking about how the workers need to get out of the store and scope around the area more. They're probably just checking out the competition, I guess. Although they don't really have to bother because _really_, who would buy from GAP?"

"Hey there," Jeff said, grinning, "I like the GAP."

"No you don't," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "You like that guy you were flirting with. Jeremiah, was it?"

"Yeah," Jeff said with a dreamy sigh. "He's an _older_ guy, Kurt. Like, almost illegally older."

"It's not _almost_ illegal for you two to do stuff together," Kurt said wryly, "it _is_ illegal. He's 21, Jeff!"

"You are _really_ good at this spying stuff, aren't you?" Blaine asked, smiling. "Been practicing since the last time you came to spy on the Warblers? Anyways, thanks for doing that, you guys. Is he gone now?"

"No, he's talking to _Jeremiah_ now." Kurt said, laughing at the lovelorn expression Jeff's face. "Okay, now he's leaving. Yeah, he's gone now."

"He spoke to the GAP guy?" Blaine hissed. Shoot, that Jeremiah guy must be a pretty high ranking Death Eater then… and really? Was Malfoy _seriously_ trying to find him by buying the GAP and having his Death Eaters pose as employees so they could search the town? _Really?_

Well in any case, he had to get them out of the store. Blaine looked up from his crouching position, and whispered to Jeff and Kurt. "Come on, we have to get out of here. And the workers in this store _cannot_ be allowed to see me, okay?"

"Do you want me to flirt with Jeremiah again?" Jeff asked hopefully. "You know, to distract him."

"_No_, Jeff." Kurt said, "No flirting with potentially evil guys. Now stand up, Blaine, and come here. Stand between Jeff and I, and pretend to whisper in my ear."

Blaine pressed himself close to Kurt's side, clasping their hands together as if they were dating. He bent down close to Kurt's ear and moved his mouth as if he were whispering sweet nothings to his boyfriend. Jeff positioned himself so nobody could see Blaine's face, all the while looking around to make sure no one was watching them. The three began to walk out the store in that manner, tersely passing the GAP employees until they were out of the store.

"Okay, thanks Kurt." Blaine said once they were clear, taking a step back. Kurt made a sound—as if he was disappointed, or something—but allowed Blaine to let go of his hand.

"So are you going to explain what just happened, Blaine?" Kurt asked patiently.

"I can't…" Blaine said. "It's not really my secret to tell."

"Alright," Kurt said, backing off reluctantly. "Fair enough. You have your secrets and I have mine. Although we _will_ be talking about this some time in the future."

Jeff wasn't listening to them. Instead, he was peeking back into the GAP through the display window. "Do you think Jeremiah would be interested in going out for coffee?" Jeff asked them eagerly.

"Jeff, seriously," Blaine said with a laugh, "don't even start. I don't really know the guy, but already I can tell you that Jeremiah is someone you _don't_ want to get involved with. When he's hanging with someone like _Malfoy_…"

Jeff sighed. "I guess you're right. He's probably evil too, huh?"

"_And_ he's much too old for you," Kurt chimed in. "Besides, he's not _that _good-looking, right Blaine?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far…" Blaine teased. Kurt made a face, making Blaine amend his statement. "Alright, fine Kurt, you're _much_ better looking than Jeremiah, and I would never in my life be interested in him. Is that better?"

Kurt smiled smugly. "Yes, much."

Blaine laughed, and pulled his friends towards the food court. "Come on, lunch time. Can you grab a table while I go to the restroom?"

"Yeah sure," Kurt said. "Call me if you can't find us."

"Thanks," Blaine said with a nod. He quickly strode towards the bathroom, pulling out his cell phone. Because, seriously, he had to get home. Dumbledore would _probably_ want to hear about Voldemort's latest plan, ridiculous as it sounded. Really, Death Eaters in the GAP? Who knew?

XXX

A/N: I had this half-written for a few months now. I'm happy that I got it finished! I think I had 7 one-shots planned for the Intermission Series. We'll see if I even remember what my ideas were!

This was a response to the "Should the Jeremiah scene be in Abluvion?" question that I posed eons ago. I think he makes an excellent evil Death Eater, don't you?


End file.
